The date above will remain significant for long, until memory fades, if ever. I was 20 then. The footsteps of winter had begun to descend and it was the last year of college. Or nearly so! It turned out to be the day my life would be changed forever.
I stood in the college auditorium and there was a sudden flash of light- which was the turning point. I cannot delve into it further at this moment, but fast forward to the time a few days onward when it was diagnosed as manic depression. Until then the word ‘bipolar’ had not appeared.
As another 6th Nov dawns it will be 27 years of engaging with the experience- the flash, the ecstasy, the expansion, the dance of consciousness, the scattering, the search, the healing, the failures, the falls…and now the reading, writing, research, helping, counseling, recovery- my own, other people’s. The entry into a strange world of medication and not accepting the idea that it was a medical phenomenon and search-search-search.
The search made me …me
Not the chase, not the vilification
The search made me me- though it was not a search for me
It was a search for the truth for what I was made to be,
And I did not accept that it spoke for me,
While I had no explanation then, and I let it be
Their truth that represented me
But today …is a different day
I am me, and I know this was the way it had to be
From that maze where I was thrown by destiny
I had to exit one day, and then not to forget the cries of those left behind
For that is what it had to be – a hero’s journey,
To return to the maze, to awaken the hero within each who was left behind
Those heroes with their thousands of faces 🙂
Our conjoined destinies- whether anyone saw or knew/not.
So now me closing the loop of 27 years
Coming to terms with an entirety that had to be me,
The hero who saw all the heroes, before they saw themselves